Traditional V/S Nontraditional Weddings and Attire

      Over the last several hundred years, wedding attire has changed pretty consistently. Similar to the way traditional and non-traditional weddings are constantly changing. Meg Keene who wrote the book “a Practical Wedding” said that before the war it was more common and traditional for brides and grooms to have a ceremony at a family home and then a celebration afterward. During the war, Brides would put on their best dress and flowers and have a courthouse wedding with only close family, then celebrate at their family’s home after. Nowadays weddings are larger and more extravagant.

       With this being said, there is no right or wrong way of having your wedding. unless you are part of a church or religion and your clergy member, priest, or pastor has specific requirements, you can have an extravagant affair in the back yard of your house, or you can rent a venue and have a less formal wedding. It is your wedding and how you decide to plan it is up to you. Just remember to be consistent, it’s all in the preparation and attire.

Formal v/s informal attire

            According to the Editors of Bride Magazine the decision of an informal and formal wedding will determine the style of clothing that is worn by the bride and groom as well as their guests. So, let’s look at a few styles and what they would look like.

Very formal (Evening):

-        -The bride would wear a beaded, embroidered, or ornamented dress with a long cathedral or monarch train.

-         The groom and ushers would wear Full-dress tailcoats, white waistcoats and bowties.

-        Female guests would wear long or short evening or cocktail dresses. Male guests would wear black-tie Tuxedos or white-tie Tails.

Informal(daytime):

-        The bride would wear a simple dress in white or pastel, no train, a small bouquet or flower trim.

-        The groom would wear a suit or blazer and a strait tie.

-        Female guests would wear a stylish dress or suit. Male guests would wear a suit or blazer and trousers (no business attire).

The time of day during each event will help you determine the style of attire that should be worn. To help you decide I recommend picking up a book on wedding etiquette, Like “Bride’s Book of Etiquette” by the Editors of Bride’s Magazine. There are a lot of useful tips that you and use and implement into your own wedding. But I do want you to keep in mind that this is your wedding and how you decide to plan your style is entirely up to you.

Wedding Etiquette (the Bridal Party)

 

The wedding party is made up of several different groups. The bride and groom, their parents, their families, and the bridesmaids and groomsman. Each group has different roles that they play in preparation for and during the wedding. In this post we are going to focus on the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Not every couple and every wedding is going to be the same, some of this list may be different for you and the circumstances surrounding your wedding.

 

The best man/maid(matron) of honor:

The Maid or Matron of honor roll can be filled by anyone and is a role that is typically filled by a female that is close with the bride, a friend, her mother, or her sister. The maid of honor is a single woman, and the Matron of honor is a married woman. Here is a list of a few things that the Maid or Matron of Honor is responsible for.

• -        Assist the bride with tasks needed to plan the wedding whenever possible.
• -        Arrange a date for all the bridesmaids to have their dresses fitted.
• -        Pays for her entire outfit (unless the bride chooses to help her pay for it as a gift).
• -        Arranges the bride’s train and veil and holds the bouquet during the ceremony.
• -        May sign the marriage certificate if witnesses are required.

The role of best man is usually filled by the groom’s most trusted friend or family member, his brother, father, friend, or cousin. As the Best man, he has a lot of duties that vary from organizing the Bachelor party to being the toast master and “chief of staff” at the wedding. Here is a list of a few things that the best man oversees.

• -        Checks on accommodation for out-of-town ushers
• -        Pays the Officiant for the groom with a sealed envelope
• -        May stand in the receiving line with the groom, or will circulate through guests
• -        Oversee the ushers; making sure everyone is properly dressed and briefed.
• -        Introducing guests
• -        Make sure all the men’s rentals clothes are returned.

 

The Bridesmaids and ushers(groomsmen):

The bridesmaids and Ushers are chosen by the bride and groom from among their closest friends and family, and it is recommended but not required to have at least one of the groom’s sisters as a bridesmaid and vice versa. The number of bridesmaids and groomsmen you have will depend on the size of the wedding, it’s recommended to have 1 bridesmaid or usher to every 50 guests and it’s not necessary to have and even number of bridesmaids to groomsman (Asking someone last minute to be a bridesmaid or an usher just to balance things out could be seen as rude or impolite) Here is a list of tasks the bridesmaids and ushers are responsible for.

Bridesmaids

• -        Help the bride in any way they can; run errands, address invitations, or scout for dresses, hotels.
• -        May co-host a bridesmaid’s lunch or bachelorette party.
• -        Pay for their own wedding outfit, unless the bride offers to pay as a gift.
• -        May greet guests in the receiving line.

Groomsman/ushers

• -        Attend all pre wedding parties the groom attends.
• -        Provide their own wedding clothes (unless the groom offers to pay as a gift).
• -        Steps forward and offer their right arm to each woman as they arrive, make quiet conversation while steering guests to their seats.
• -        Escort quests to and from their cars before and after the Ceremony.
• -        Are alert to any potential problems and handle each problem appropriately.

 

I like to think that the maid of honor and the best man are the bride and groom’s right hands, and the bridesmaid and groomsman are the right hand of the maid of honor and best man. They all work as a team to make the wedding as stress free as possible for the bride and groom. Each task may change depending on how big or little the wedding is or if you are planning something less traditional. But the goal is still the same; make sure the bride and groom have a good time with their guests.

Wedding etiquette (for the Bride and Groom)

 

        There’s so much that goes into wedding etiquette that I could wright a novel about just this subject alone. Anywhere from the planning of the wedding to how your guests and wedding party should dress. Today we are only going to cover who pays for what and pre-wedding parties and customs, specifically the Bridal shower and what you should expect.

Who pays for what?

            In recent years more brides and grooms are splitting the cost 3 ways, between themselves and their parents. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Things are no longer the way they were 100 years ago or even 10 years ago. But if you can, here is a list of a few things that each party is traditionally responsible for.

-        The bride’s family was responsible for the cost of the wedding.

-        The groom’s family is responsible for the marriage license and the clergy member’s or judges’ fees.

-        The bride or her family pays for the groom’s ring

-        The groom or his family pays for the bouquet, boutonnieres for the men in the wedding party, and corsages for the mothers and grandmothers.

The bridal shower

There is a legend that the first Bridal shower in Holland for a maiden who fell in-love with a poor miller. To discourage the marriage the father of the bride refused her the customary bridal dowry. To help the couple set up housekeeping, where the miller’s friends “showered the bride” in gifts.

            Another custom is for the bride to be, to “go collecting” door to door to receive her gifts in a pillowcase, in the company of an older married man in a top hat carrying an umbrella (the umbrella represents shelter). Now a bride will travel to a store’s wedding gift registry to list preferences for her guests.

The purpose of the shower is to help the new couple fit into their new home. Typically hosted by friends, bridesmaids, and/or the maid of honor, the shower is an informal event that can be hosted in someone’s home where you can host lunch, a barbeque, or a pool party.

 

 

 

Resources and material you can use for more information about the do’s and don’ts when planning your wedding:

Martha Stewart Weddings - 20 rules you should definitely follow (no really)

Bride’s Magazine - Bride’s book of Etiquette

www.brides.com – Wedding Etiquette

 

How to decide what flower is best for your event

 

    It’s easy to get lost in the sea of decisions that you need to make when planning an event. Whether it’s a Baby Shower, a Wedding, or a birthday party for your mother, the little details can be overwhelming. The good news is that there are vendors available to you to help design the best look for your event.

     Choosing the right flowers for your event can be a large decision to make, and there is no one size that fits all when it comes to making that decision. But there is a way to make the decision easier.

 

Consider the theme and the color scheme

For example, you want to choose flowers that complement the theme of a wedding. You wouldn’t choose White Dahlias or red roses for a rustic Wedding with a yellow color scheme.

 Think about the meaning of flowers.

 Is the flower available because of the season or accessibility

   Decide on the style of the arrangement

  What can you afford

Start working with a florist

A great resource you can use to help you make the decision is Elana’s broad Street Florist and Gifts “How To Pick The Perfect Flowers For Any Event: The Essential Guide.”